self-perception is a tough issue. i am still learning to acknowledge other peoples reactions, comments, and above all, compliments — especially of the ones i care about. if you get a lot of positive feedback, logically there got to be something about you. still, when i observe myself from time to time i don’t understand where all the hype comes from. i think i am pretty — not beautiful.
Hey Jana, which are the countries you would consider to live in ... except Germany?
i can pretty much see myself living anywhere, where there is water - wether it’s the sea or a lake - and nature nearby, when i’m older —scandinavia, for example. however, the wish of having a place to get away to every now and then is the only reason why i’d move somewhere remote. for the moment i enjoy being back home and close to my family and friends. i wouldn’t choose any other place in the world, and in case i need a change of scenery i content myself with traveling. but who am i to look into the future anyways — i wouldn’t know where i end up living.
long story made short: i can consider myself living somewhere that inspires me and is preferably not too far away from my loved ones.
she did not turn directly to anyone, and certainly not to me. she neither spoke to herself, nor to god. she merely was a stammering wound, which had found a voice, and in the darkness of this alley it seemed to break up and create a space around itself where it could bleed without shame or humiliation. the entire time she kept clinging onto my arm, as if to assure herself of my presence. she pressed it with her strong fingers, as if her touch could convey what her words were no longer able to express.
what is your favourite colour (black and white included)?
it depends on the context, really. when it comes to clothing i prefer black. thinking of a room i imagine it to be in shades of white, light-grey and beige. i love the colours of untreated wood and i really like dark, deep blue. symbolism-wise i’d chose green. all in all i do like earthy, settled tones, as it seems. i hope that answers your question, even if the true answer may rather be something along the lines of “i don’t feel like deciding on one”.
“written in ink, in german, in a small, hopelessly sincere handwriting, were the words “dear god, life is hell.” nothing led up to or away from it. alone on the page, and in the sickly stillness of the room, the words appeared to have the stature of an uncontestable, even classic indictment. x stared at the page for several minutes, trying, against heavy odds, not to be taken in. then, with far more zeal than he had done anything in weeks, he picked up a pencil stub and wrote down under the inscription, in english, »fathers and teachers, i ponder, ‘what is hell?’ i maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love.«”—J.D. Salinger, For Esme, With Love and Squalor